Cassi Crush rolled into Woodcrest University with a sketchpad in one hand and a vape pen in the other, ready to reinvent herself as the next big name in animation. Hailing from Vancouver BC a Pacific Northwest town, she was always the weird art kid—daydreaming in class, doodling outrageous creatures in the margins of math tests, and turning every school project into an animated short film.

Cassi chose Woodcrest for its edgy design program and because, in her words, “the vibes felt right.” She quickly became known on campus for her distinct style—glitter platforms, oversized sunglasses, and a pink faux fur coat she wore unironically even in 80-degree weather.

Within her first month, she’d already gained a small following on social media for her surreal art reels and chaotic dorm-room livestreams. But her fame took a wild turn after an infamous night where she was arrested for public intoxication… and public nudity. According to campus legend, Cassi claimed she was “expressing the raw vulnerability of the postmodern body” through spontaneous performance art. The police were… less impressed.

Despite the incident (or maybe because of it), Cassi remains unbothered and unapologetically herself. She’s currently working on an animated short about the surreal inner life of a bong, and says the arrest will “definitely be a story arc” in her upcoming graphic novel.

Woodcrest faculty are torn between concern and curiosity. Her professors say she’s either going to be expelled—or famous.

Or both.